You’ve done it! You got the girl of your dreams, you know the one you just met, to give you her cell number. Now, what do you do? Do you text or not text? You don’t want to be like the proverbial dog who finally catches the car it’s been chasing only to end up dead on the side of the road. Do you call instead? Do you forget the whole thing? Following a few simple texting guidelines is all you need to initiate contact with confidence and secure that first date. I can hear the wedding bells ringing now (I mean, if that’s what you are after).
Let’s start with the negatives. After all, men have a tendency to just jump in without testing the waters first. There are a few things you should know about date text etiquette. DO NOT . . .
- Wait! There is no set time limit on when you should contact a woman after receiving her number, though doing so before she is even out of sight might be a little much. You don’t want to seem too eager, but you also don’t want her wondering what happened to you. I admit it’s a fine line, but the next day is probably good to broach the possibility of a date.
- Just say, “Hi,” “Hey,” or “Howdy!” Unless, of course, that is all the response you want to get back from her (or, even worse, absolute silence). Give a follow-up line like “It was nice to meet you at the concert last night.” Establish genuine contact.
- Use bad grammar or misspellings. You are texting to impress, so pay attention to what you are saying. Show your intelligence and charm. This is not the time to use cutesy messages like “C U L8er,” unless your girl is illiterate, in which case texting won’t do you much good anyway.
- Beat around the bush. Remember, the purpose of this text is to get a date. So get to the point. Make a suggestion and give specifics on a time and place. Don’t hem and haw and go back and forth; it will only exude indecisiveness. Women like a definite, well-thought-out plan of action.
- Be pushy. Play it cool. And don’t worry if she doesn’t respond right away. She may need to think about it and check her calendar. Don’t assume rejection. Give it a day or two, and then text again—politely.
Now, on to the how-to, which is what you’re really after anyway; it’s a guy thing, I know. Start by thinking of the opposites of everything you’ve just read; then read on. Let’s do this. Let’s get this date. When it comes to texting, DO . . .
- Ask questions. A short get to know you tete-a-tete is totally fine. “What did you think of the concert?” “How do you know so and so?” Such conversation will put your potential date at ease and make her more likely to say yes.
- Have a purpose and plan. Know exactly what you would like to ask her to. “I was wondering if you would like to join me for lunch (dinner, coffee, or whatever, though probably not your family vacation).” Then give a specific date and time with maybe one other option. Depending on her response, you can proceed from there.
- Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you are not because eventually you will be found out, especially if your relationship does move beyond the text phase. If you tend to be funny and flirtatious, feel free to incorporate that into your message. If you are of a more serious frame of mind, don’t force the humor and flirting. She was interested enough in you to give you her number, so just be you.
- Be mindful of how you come across. Just like in speech, a text is not always interpreted correctly (even with a string of emojis attached). You may not get the chance to say, “No, that’s not what I meant.”
- Know when to end the conversation. Once the date has been set up, sign off. “Great. I’m looking forward to seeing you again.” Staying connected with frivolous chatter will probably make her regret saying yes.
In this modern age of technology, guys can relax a bit when it comes to asking girls out on a date. No more screwing up your courage to face your intended and then anticipating the look of disgust and rejection. No more butterflies and sweaty palms. A simple 5-10 word text and the deed is done, but oh those 5-10 words! It may not be a matter of life or death, but it very well could be a matter of life mate or single dearth.