In this interview, Gregory Diehl interviews Nate Lind, the founder of Legendary Man. Nate describes some of the problems that men face today and the incredible adventure he has taken along the way. Fraught with challenges that has driven him to his own deep realizations about his spirit, his physical body and what it means to be a man.
GD: It’s just ridiculous that we, especially a man who hates women… God, how insecure in yourself do you have to be, that this object of beauty, that we’re supposed to be attracted to, and inspired by, and turned on by, we grow to detest, and feel threatened by? How f***** up do you have to be, to feel that way about women, in my opinion?
NL:I think it’s an unconscious and ignorant way of being, that I think it can be said, in generality, that those types of men that express themselves in that way, feel threatened, feel lost, feel like they don’t belong. And I would say, that looking back at how masculinity has evolved over hundreds of years, and particularly, in the last hundred years or so, and I think that it’s not… It’s probably not an uncommon thing, that this is going to press us more and more, and I believe that culturally, that that outburst is somewhat common, however, very misguided. And that’s part of what I think our education, our content with Legendary Man is seeking to expand upon, so that people can understand that, you know what? There’s been a generic role, or there’s been a common role that men have taken in the lives of their families, and it’s changed a lot in the last hundred years. And as women have had a renaissance of their own equality, or their equation within society, that there’s been, for sure, I think, a number of men that have been… That have taken that as a threat or something that diminishes them.
NL: And what I’d have to say to that, is looking back on what masculinity is, it’s number one, a social contract. It’s an agreement between society, which changes, and then number two, it’s still expressive from ourselves. So we have the opportunity to make it whatever the hell we want to, and instead of pointing fingers, and screaming, and fighting, and kicking dirt, and saying that, “We used to be the bread winners. We used to do this, we used to do that.” Instead, looking at a little bit more enlightened ways to express one’s self, and also working within this societal contract, that we exist in the world today. Men neither want nor are seeking the diminishing women from a quantity perspective. [chuckle] We want women around. We want to be with women. That’s absolutely a biological need for us. And I think we want to be with them in a harmonious way, or at least, in a way that’s not constantly in conflict. And there’s a common set of beliefs around masculinity that are old, perhaps even ancient in nature, and then some that are more enlightened, or more integrated, or more modern.
NL: And that’s something I think that we can definitely discuss in depth, because there’s a huge shift as to what being a man is, and I think there’s a lot of confusion on who’s right, and who’s wrong. And there’s also a tremendous amount of actual guys, who are just completely oblivious to it, and just sit around wondering, “What the hell’s going on? Why don’t I get what I want?” Well, in order to be able to play the game, you need to know that you’re in a game, and then you need to understand the rules of it, and I think that’s a big component to one’s success. And for me, I exhibit that success in my entrepreneurial life. And then I’ve also seen how exhibiting that success entrepreneurially, has made me lose at the game in family, and in relationship, and have had to take that balance, and look back and forth, to be able to understand where I’m spending a tremendous amount of time at work or business, that’s taking away time, and effort, and love, and affection, and attention from my family, and from my marriage. It’s a real struggle. It’s a constant state of balance, I think, that I express and exhibit on a daily basis, and every man out there exhibits that too.
GD: What does it mean to be a man? That sounds like the fundamental question you’re asking, ’cause some of these concepts are, of course, just cultural. You go around the world, and the way that the head of the household, the man, the patriarch acts, is gonna look a little bit different in each country, and each era of time. But there’s also a fundamental principality, a principle of what it means to be masculine, that is probably bred into us through evolution, which we display as men to some degree, and which, of course, isn’t exclusive to men. It’s just a generalization that we tend to have more of a certain set of qualities than women, and these qualities can help us, just as easily as they can hinder us. Our passionate sex drive can be just a great, amazing, inspiring, empowering force and it can also be the most immature, vile, violent distraction that a man cannot escape. He can’t stop obsessing with how sexy a woman looks or something.
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